I Filter Myself All Day. This Is Where I Don’t.

My writing tends to be verbose.

I have a lot to say, but if you know me personally you may not think that.

When I feel defensive about how long my writing is sometimes, I also think about how I try really hard in offline life not to overwhelm people by talking too much.

Generally, I have quite a few things going through my mind at any given time.

But I harbor no illusions that anyone within arm’s reach is interested in what’s floating around in there, or has the time to hear it all right now.

I’ve learned to filter much of what I say in person and stick to what’s being discussed.

This is difficult at times, and when I realize I’m queuing up a tangent, I intentionally slow myself down.

Being a therapist helped me refine this skill. It’s helpful to remember that sessions aren’t about me. They are always about the client.

So my training helped me learn to be more self aware in the moment.

• Does this comment move the work forward, or is it me trying to have my own say?
• Does this have anything to do with what the client’s dealing with?

Those two questions will usually shut me down and keep my interest on helping the client.

I’ve always been a good listener but I totally crush it now that I know what I’m doing.

So if my writing is verbose, it’s because writing is the only outlet I have to get some of that stuff out of my head.

I simply have to have one space where I can have my say, share what I’ve learned, and not wonder how it might land on the other side of me.

That’s why I created this lab space. It’s a place for me to air out incomplete thoughts or snippets without judgement from me or anyone else.

It’s a kind of sacred space, albeit a public one. 😁