The Lab
The Lab is where I think out loud. These are my raw notes, half-formed ideas, scripture observations, clinical patterns I’m noticing, things I’m working through, and who knows what else.
I also like to make things, so The Lab is my way of holding myself accountable.
This is where it happens before it gets polished and market-y. Newest posts at the top.
The Problem With Letting Someone Else Hold the Carrot
/in The Lab/by loriWay in the early bowels of my career, I worked as a proofreader at an ad agency.
One of our clients was a grocery store chain, whose tag line had been, “Where the carrots are.” 🤔
On my first day at the job, I met a guy who’d been on that account for a while. He was a really cool guy, so I felt okay asking, “What did that tag line mean, exactly? I bought way more than carrots when I shopped there.”
He said that it referenced holding a carrot in front of a horse to incentivize it to action. So, come in to the store because we have something you want.
“Ohhhh, ok, yeah, that makes sense,” I told him. And we both laughed because the line had recently been retired.
The problem was that I didn’t need them to incentivize me to just shop at their store.
I shopped there because I found I was consistently hungry, and they had stores everywhere.
I went into the store to meet my need, not think about how I would be rewarded for doing something I needed to do anyway.
I wasn’t looking for a reward, but I did need them to be open and well-stocked so that I could go home and cook.
The store was a tool to get me to the healthy meals that were my bigger priority.
This little carrot drama still pops back up when I find myself waiting for someone to tell me what’s next for me.
The real incentive has never been what someone else can put on the books for you.
But the opportunity they bring can absolutely be a tool to get you to something you want, even if you never collect a dime from it.
The reality is that this isn’t just about the carrots placed in front of you. It’s who’s holding the carrot.
Real incentive comes from knowing what you want most and feeding your own hunger for it.
Because 15 minutes after eating a carrot, I’m hungry again.
So I set out the next one, and the next one, to keep me moving toward what I want.
But we so easily let someone else set out those carrots. What if it’s going somewhere you don’t want to go?
Don’t wait for someone else to decide what you want for yourself.
You’re a grown up, which means you’re allowed to move toward what you want, however you want to do it.
But it starts by knowing what you want.
What do you want?
MORE FROM THE LAB
I Filter Myself All Day. This Is Where I Don’t.
/in The Lab/by loriMy writing tends to be verbose.
I have a lot to say, but if you know me personally you may not think that.
When I feel defensive about how long my writing is sometimes, I also think about how I try really hard in offline life not to overwhelm people by talking too much.
Generally, I have quite a few things going through my mind at any given time.
But I harbor no illusions that anyone within arm’s reach is interested in what’s floating around in there, or has the time to hear it all right now.
I’ve learned to filter much of what I say in person and stick to what’s being discussed.
This is difficult at times, and when I realize I’m queuing up a tangent, I intentionally slow myself down.
Being a therapist helped me refine this skill. It’s helpful to remember that sessions aren’t about me. They are always about the client.
So my training helped me learn to be more self aware in the moment.
Those two questions will usually shut me down and keep my interest on helping the client.
I’ve always been a good listener but I totally crush it now that I know what I’m doing.
So if my writing is verbose, it’s because writing is the only outlet I have to get some of that stuff out of my head.
I simply have to have one space where I can have my say, share what I’ve learned, and not wonder how it might land on the other side of me.
That’s why I created this lab space. It’s a place for me to air out incomplete thoughts or snippets without judgement from me or anyone else.
It’s a kind of sacred space, albeit a public one. 😁
Curiosity Is a Trap Now
/in The Lab/by loriWhat’s different about learning new things now vs when I was a kid is how algorithms immediately bombard you once you express a new interest.
I’m old so I only had books to learn from as a kid.
I had to physically search out new information I was interested in, like some kind of nerdy dinosaur.
It was harder to get distracted because at some point, you just ran out of the material in your hand.
So you either had to leave your house and search for more on your own, like at a library or bookstore, or go do something else.
Now, as a new video creator just trying to get started, the minute I open YouTube I immediately get ambushed with videos that are way too far ahead of me right now in my YT journey.
Or not really where I want to take my channel at all.
I say I’m going to just go past them and do what I came here to do.
But they’re like those guys on the sidewalk in Times Square that shove flyers in your face as you walk by.
I came here to get some concealer at Sephora. But you know, I could probably squeeze in a comedy show first.
Who knows? I might learn something about being funny that might help me in some other area of my life.
The YT thumbnails are worse than those flyers, though, because of all the razor sharp marketing tactics in play. And because YT has a pretty good beat on what it thinks I’m trying to do.
But after providing the click-through metric, I don’t feel a sense of mastery.
And I don’t get a challenging idea to chew on, annoy all my friends with, and then produce something out of that.
I get a kind of sad left-behind feeling, or wondering if I’m doing all the wrong things (prolly because so many thumbnails say, you’re doing all the wrong things 😂).
And I waste my productive time, or worse — my reflective time where my voice lives — in 15-30 minute increments with no artifacts to show the world what I learned.
The tragedy of living in an algocentric world isn’t just that we’re distracted.
It’s that we’re hypnotized in a spin cycle that never produces anything.
Instead of a valuable learning resource, YouTube has become one more place for hard boundaries.
The irony is it isn’t YT’s fault. I was the first one to ask a question about making videos.
But that question inadvertently turned on a fire hose, when I was just trying to figure out how to light a match.
If you like to make things, how do you handle this?
Especially when you’re in an environment where your most valuable tools are trying to take the lead on where you go?
MORE FROM THE LAB