What Will You Do With Me?

God will never shame you into anything. He only draws.

I grew up a preacher’s kid. My dad pastored for most of the time I was growing up, so every week was filled to the hilt with church attendance and activities.

This was the time of wearing your Sunday best (never jeans), so I was expected each time I was at church to put effort into looking nice.

It wasn’t lost on me that people paid some attention to what I was doing and how I responded to things. At some point putting my best effort forth just became part of the routine.

Fast-forward to my early 20s, newly married, and having a particularly tough time with my hair one Sunday morning.

I remember blurting out in frustration, “I don’t even wanna go to church!“

My husband, ever the calm one, simply stated, “Who’s making you go? I’m not making you go.”

Huh.

I thought about that for a minute, put my brush and Aqua Net down, and stayed home.

And then I proceeded not to go to church for about six weeks.

To be honest, that first week was such a relief.

The pressure to present myself any kind of way for others was mercifully lifted.

It felt like playing hooky, but there was no one to “catch me.”

I was an adult making an adult decision. I thought I was being so grown up.

And then around that sixth week, in a quiet moment, I heard Jesus simply ask me:

“What will you do with me?”

It wasn’t a shame-on-you for not going to church.

It wasn’t a demand.

It was a simple question.

The longer I sat there, the more I realized how much of my relationship with Him had been clouded by ritual and works for works’ sake.

In my haste to get some breathing room from obligation, I had now also pushed aside the One who had given everything to save me.

That felt like a weighted blanket across my heart.

“What will you do with me?”

Instead of riding the coattails of my family’s call, I was now being called.

Just me and Him.

That was the first moment I remember a relationship with Jesus feeling like a real relationship.

Often His call is quiet and devoid of fanfare.

And to be honest, many times it’s not filled with great emotion.

Even when He points out something you need to pay attention to, it’s never from a place of shame.

He coaxes you to examine yourself.

And when you see just how far you’ve missed the mark, He’s right there with forgiveness.

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